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malspie
December 13th, 2008, 03:34 AM
Hey Gals,

I love to write stories which can be a portrait of real life, stories that will make you sit up and think, stories that can make you laugh and stories that can bring tears in your eyes!

Now, if you like this story, do write back to me, I will come with more!

Your response is my motivation to give you the best CHAI TIME!

Friends, do drop in!

IF THIS POST REACHES ATLEAST 350 VIEWERS, YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN IN THE STORY FORUM! SO GET GOING AND DO POST YOUR FEEDBACKS. Hey Gals, it has just reached 313 views - not bad, I am ready with the next story, waiting for this post to hit 350 views!


The Dark Night and its tale

I was engrossed reading the book; the clock had ticked way past midnight. I threw my eyes around the room and suddenly something twitched my thoughts. The chairs were not empty, the room was full of people walking around, I could hear few vessels being arranged in the Kitchen. I was glued to my chair, with my eye balls piercing on every object. The street light which would illuminate my balcony was fused on that night. I searched for someone in my balcony. My search ended when I saw a tall figure leaning outside from my balcony. When my gaze fixed on the figure it turned and smiled at me, it was not warm. My lips had dried and my tongue was a bit thick looking for saliva. I decided to concentrate on the book. The leaves of the book had turned and I lost my chapter. Slowly, I pulled myself out of the chair and treaded towards the kitchen. The passage from the hall to the kitchen was dark. As my footsteps approached the kitchen, I could see some shadows rushing out and running towards my bedroom. What are these shadows doing in my home? All that I could say was, “Jai Hanuman”. I slowly reached the kitchen. My legs were shivering for some unknown reasons and my heart was pounding. I raised my weak hands towards the switch. The light was enough to drive away the shadows. They were not to be seen anymore. I stood at the door of the kitchen and peeped in to the passage once again, I could not see them anymore. I quickly ran the glass of water down my parched throat. I was sweating profusely. I missed the street light very much as it always illuminates my room. I had to put my body to rest. What are the shadows doing in my bedroom? I walked towards my bedroom and the chanting “Jai Hanuman” continued. There’s a chair in the bedroom and I could see a pale figure reading a news paper. How could it read in the eerie of darkness? It had comfortably perched itself on the chair. I threw my glance on the bed, thank god it was empty. The other shadows were standing near the window. They were all tall wearing long robes. They had thin hands and big heads. I could hear them chatting among themselves. How happy they seem to be, I wondered? Do they live with me in this house? Where do they go in the day time? Do they also work like me? I kept pondering. The figure in the chair was not perturbed with any noise or chats. It continued browsing the newspaper. I did not enter the bedroom, something stopped me. Instead, I walked back to the hall and suddenly found it empty. The book which I was reading had shut off with the breeze. I picked it up and placed it back in the shelf. I again looked in the balcony, the shadow had turned towards me and it appeared it was watching me. I felt a little awkward. The smile continued on its face. I did not want to show, that I am pondering on the issue. So I hit on the T.V. and tuned to the news channel. The shadow moved its position and angled in such a way that it can watch too. I was not comfortable with the shadow. From which world have these shadows come? Who has sent them? My appeal was to my parents who are stars on the sky, please drive them away. I do not need their company. “Jai Hanuman” was secretly chanted by me and it continued for some reasons. I quickly went for a leak. I had to go to the passage and then the cloak room. I was sure the shadows are busy in my bedroom. After the leak, I reentered the hall, and switched off my T.V. I chanted “Jai Hanuman” loudly and raised towards the balcony, it was jittery, but I had to do it. The shadows suddenly flew out of the balcony. That got me glued to the floor. Who was it? I pulled the shutters of the window and rushed towards the kitchen to put off the lights. The shadow on the chair spoke to me, Common Mals, how long are you going to hang out there? Just retire, you need rest. The voice seemed to be familiar and the appearance too, but all was hazy. I carried a bottle of water to my bedroom and jumped on the bed. Suddenly I found my room bright and clear. The street light was back in action. I peeped near the window and saw the shadows passing out. I looked at the chair it was empty. I again went to the balcony of my hall to see what’s happening. The shadow did not reappear. I opened the shutters and marched towards the bedroom. The things were clear, the rooms and the passage was brighter. I was so used to the street light, that darkness was a far cry to me. Were all the images the perception of my sensory nerves? I am still wondering.

rajmiarun
December 13th, 2008, 10:41 AM
Mals,
You gave me a creep. Will I be able to sleep alone in night in my home. But you made a point there. Take complete rest for a few days. Give a rest for all your work and shut yourself out of the world for a day or two and rejenuvate yourself.

malspie
December 13th, 2008, 10:46 AM
Hi Raj,

This was my first suspense story ever written and it has been appreciated by everyone who reads it.

It was creepy isnt it!

Take my name and go to sleep!!:p

ketaki2097
December 13th, 2008, 06:35 PM
Mals
You are amazing story writer. All the scenes rolled before my eyes as I was reading it. They are also deep into my mind and will haunt me.
Lesson learned to take some rest and keep aside all my work.
Keep up the good work.

sunetra365
December 13th, 2008, 09:03 PM
Mals you rock
You have very good writing skills. I dont remember reading any suspense story with lesson to learn. That is really nice to read a suspense story with lesson to learnt.

malspie
December 14th, 2008, 02:43 AM
Hi Ketaki,

You have brought a smile on my lips, a story has to get in to the thoughts of the reader, she should become part of the story only then she will be able to relate to it. In this case, I have roped in a little fear in your system, Sorry babes, but this story was a fiction and it was meant to get that creepy feel.

Thanks for being here and encouraging me.

malspie
December 14th, 2008, 02:44 AM
Hi Sunetra,

A lovely feedback filled with words to pep me up to write another story.

Thanks buddy

ritanaik729
December 14th, 2008, 08:20 AM
Hi Mals
To write a story so pictorial (I am not sure if I am using the correct word, I mean to say words describing detail scenes),changes persons feeling, haunts us(because we absorb it in our minds) and at the same time passing the message is a real talent. I dont have words to describe you because I am not good writer like you.
Keep up the good work.

malspie
December 14th, 2008, 09:32 AM
Hi Mals
To write a story so pictorial (I am not sure if I am using the correct word, I mean to say words describing detail scenes),changes persons feeling, haunts us(because we absorb it in our minds) and at the same time passing the message is a real talent. I dont have words to describe you because I am not good writer like you.
Keep up the good work.

Hi Rita,

When I read the first line of your reply, I was wondering what are you going to say, bad, worse, stop posting kind of .....

Then the 4th line gave me the much required "Raahat". More than my story, your reply gave the DHAK DHAK feeling.

Hats off to you too!

ritanaik729
December 14th, 2008, 09:56 AM
Hi Mals
I did not mean to give you dhak dhak. I appreciate the way your write. When scenes roll infront of your eyes while reading that is talented writing.
in BTW I gave you dhak dhak while reading my post that means I was trying to write suspense:)

malspie
December 14th, 2008, 10:23 AM
Thanks for all those sweet words, which has definitely encouraged me.

Yes, you also tried to create some suspense and should I say,you succeeded.

salwadisa
December 14th, 2008, 08:10 PM
Mals
You are great,amazing writer. I enjoyed your story although creepy and little bit scary. Well Narrated.
Are you writer by profession? I think I am getting too personal.

malspie
December 15th, 2008, 02:09 AM
Hi Salwadisa,

The theme of the story was to scare the reader and get them in to a creepy sort of feeling. With all the feedbacks here, I feel I have hit the chord.

Yes, my friend, I love to write and write and write. Wish there were 48 hours in a day and I could do bring in all that I have in my brain for you gals here.

Loved the feedback and your presence in my humble story.

Keep coming.

naarisakhi
December 15th, 2008, 08:14 AM
Mals
You rock!!
You have given the readers what they would like to read. To get the creepy feeling into readers mind is a tough job. You have done it.
Keep Writing. We appreciate your time and talents.

Regards
Laxmi

mistydisa
December 15th, 2008, 01:17 PM
Mals
I enjoyed reading your story. To add perfect setting to your story I was reading it at night. I did not plan but happen to read at that time. You can imagine my reaction to this story. woooo I was scared to go to the bathroom. It was good story with moral.
Waiting to read more stories from you.

devika235
December 15th, 2008, 10:28 PM
Mals
Good story. It was suspense,creepy(very difficult to get that in readers mind) with good ending. You are awesome.
Keep up the good post
Devika

malspie
December 16th, 2008, 01:04 AM
Thank you Naarisakhi, your feedback has motivated me to pen in more stories for my Sakhis of this website.

malspie
December 16th, 2008, 01:06 AM
Hi Misty,

Hey you are a braveheart!

I understand the fear that creeps in after reading suspense thrillers, ghosts and murder mysteries.

Hope you did not hate me for a second babes!

malspie
December 16th, 2008, 01:07 AM
Hi Devika,

The creepy feeling is all that I want to give thorugh this Fiction!

Enjoyed to see my readers getting spikey hairs and racing heart beat.

Thank you Devs.

ANKIE
December 17th, 2008, 10:11 AM
Mals!

Beautifully written! And trust me...there have been more than many a time...that I have jumped with fright seeing my own shadow :p!

malspie
December 17th, 2008, 10:26 AM
Ankie Sweets,

Shadows become part of your life when you live alone, they no more dance and sway to frighten you rather they smile back at you to assure they are silently giving you company expecting nothing from you!


This story was my first try on suspense thrillers!

armule12
December 18th, 2008, 09:37 AM
Mals
Great wiritng. You have raised my expectation by saying that this was your first try to write suspense. You are great.

malspie
December 18th, 2008, 11:42 AM
Hi Armule,

I am honest about it, I never gave suspense / thriller corners a shot. I wrote this in ust 2 hours and lo! everyone here seems to enjoy it.

Thanks buddy.

sandraose
December 18th, 2008, 06:42 PM
Mals
Everybody has used all the words of appreciation,leaving me with no words.
I agree with armule, you are increasing our expectation. You are a great thriller writer. Writing a suspense story is one of the difficult task. Keep up the good work Mals.

malspie
December 19th, 2008, 02:10 AM
Sakhis,

Each and every sakhi has boosted my morale, thanks in tons sweeties!

banishapa
January 4th, 2009, 07:55 PM
Mals
You are great. Sacchi me, tune nuje gabra diya :)
Wow I was looking around the room after reading your story. Scary story with morals is really good. You need that extra talent to write scary stories and you have one.
Keep writing

malspie
January 5th, 2009, 01:00 AM
Hi Banishapa,

I have written many stories some of them have been emotional and some hilarious but this is the first time, I tried my hands in horror and to my surprise, many of the sakhis seem to have liked it!

Now, there is a huge challenge ahead of me to do better next time!

Thanks for the feedback once again.

shaila45
January 8th, 2009, 08:19 PM
Mals You are good at writing Hilarious stories but to write an horror story that also with lesson to learn is not a joke. I enjoyed reading your story. I am lucky I did not read it at night:eek:. Keep writing.

malspie
January 9th, 2009, 01:59 AM
Hi Shaila,

You seem to be a brave woman as you are happy to read this fiction at NIGHT!

It was an effort which is applauded by my friends here, thanks Shaila for the feedback.

pannu2000
January 15th, 2009, 07:58 AM
Mals
You rock. I read this story twice with a gap of one week. It gave me same feeling as I read it first time. Good writing. Keep up the good job.

malspie
January 15th, 2009, 10:33 AM
Hi Pannu,

Please accept my three cheers to reading a thriller 'twice'.

You are indeed a bold woman, who can face the creepy feeling 'twice'.

You have also given encouragement boosters to me to try and write another one!

Be ready, for another one!

joelcabar
January 16th, 2009, 09:35 PM
Well written. I dont have words to appreciate your thriller story. Keep up the good work.

malspie
January 17th, 2009, 01:47 AM
Hi Joelcabar,

Thanks a ton, I am thrilled with the thriller story!

tulsi34
January 18th, 2009, 10:01 PM
Mals, you are great with great talents. I enjoyed reaidng your story although it gave me creepy feeling. It is difficult to get creepy feeling to readers. Keep up the good work.

malspie
January 19th, 2009, 08:32 AM
Hi Tulsi,

Thanks dear for enjoying my first attempt on thriller! The motivating feedbacks of my sakhis has made me try my hands on it again.

mukti
January 31st, 2009, 07:44 AM
Mals, thanks for such a beautiful narration and giving me dhak dhak:)
It was good experience and I am glad I did not read it at night. Although I had been watching who is behind me..
Nice story

malspie
January 31st, 2009, 10:53 AM
Hi Mukti,

I am feeling very elated to know that I could create the dhak dhak feeling in your heart, a thriller is meant to bring in such feelings.

Thanks for taking time to read this story.

nidhik55
February 18th, 2009, 05:44 PM
Mals, Great thriller. hats off to you for writing such a scary thriller. You need to be good at writing skills to scare readers. It was good scare not horror scare and of course I admire the message passed to the audience.

malspie
February 19th, 2009, 01:50 AM
Hi Nidhi,

You are like an angel stepping in to my stories with a motivating feedback.

I enjoy writing and am only sharing my hobby.

Thanks dearie.

malspie
February 26th, 2009, 11:42 AM
Hi Friends,

I would like to thank all my sakhis once again for making THE DARK NIGHT AND ITS TALE a huge success.

snehawagmare
March 25th, 2009, 02:57 PM
Mals, I read tha dark nights but forgot to post FB. I was scared a little bit after reading this story but it is huge success for you as a writer. You story also has message to Sakhis. Thanks for posting.

malspie
March 26th, 2009, 03:06 AM
Dear Sneha,

It is my first try on Fiction and am thankful to my stars that my Sakhis have liked it so much.

It has encouraged me to write THE STALKER which I have posted here.

Hope you like that one too.