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ketaki2097
December 19th, 2008, 09:06 PM
I am not writer by profession. Mals post on Prevert touch made me write this story. Thanks Mals. Ignore sentence formation or grammer from this story. My goal is awarness among sakhis.

Don't let Monster touch your soul

Everybody advises me to bury things from past and move on and I totally agree one should move on. How do you move on when that monster keep entering your life repeatedly at every step? I am here make public a sick story so it is not repeated with any of my sakhis.
I was cheerful bubbly child loved by everybody at home, school and neighborhood. I loved to play, make friends and help my mother in household chores. I was my daddy’s darling.
My innocent laughter was taken away by monster. This monster still follows me wherever I go. I survived sickness for a major part of teen and youth and was seriously starting to think that he can’t touch me now, make me impure now, can’t use me now. I was so mistaken! All those memories carved in my mind make me feel equally dirty, and equally used.
One summer night my personality changed totally. I stopped talking to my friends, and family. I never went out and played with my friends neither made any new friends. My grades at School dropped. I wanted to be part of the children playing in the park but I could not.
One summer afternoon changed my life . It was summer vacation and monster visited us that summer vacation. He was my uncle (father’s cousin). He touched me for the very first time and I felt very dirty by his touch. He used to hold my hands in front of my parents and shockingly my parents did not feel that he was doing something wrong. I had a dirty feeling when he used to touch me. I did not realize what was happening. As the days pass, he moved to different parts of my body. As I grew older I realized why I am feeling dirty by his touch but it was too late. I was suffocating and feeling dirty about myself. He killed child inside me little by little every year. My personality changed totally. I became very silent child. This affected my studies followed by complaints from the teachers. Nobody stopped to think what made bubbly intelligent child a silent dumb kiddo. Not even my teachers or parents. They stopped me sitting near the window and watching other children play, no TV, no getogether. They made me study all the time. Unfortunately they did not stop my meetings with monster when he visited.

I am a person who keeps all emotions inside me. I never spoke to anyone about what I felt. And that left a big hollow feeling inside me. I never told anyone about how I was feeling back then, initially because I was too young to understand what was happening. When I realized what was happening it was too late. I had lost everything. I did not tell anyone out of shame, embarrassment, and guilt. All those times he molested me, I looked down upon myself. I blamed myself for his acts. But now when I look back I feel that it was his sickness not mine, his filthy mind not mine.
And all those opportunities to speak out about it openly and make it stop were being snatched away from me initially by my ignorance and then doubts about my parents not believing in me.
I had the courage to face this and get out of it but I will not let another child touched by a monster.
And believe me,if you don’t talk about it you are motivating monster to ruin our loving childrens. Keeping silent is followed by multiple problems, physically and emotionally and mentally. I am a survivor.
In India, there is very little awareness about child molestation and is not very openly talked about. Parents do not understand the change in their child's behavior. Parents trust neighbors and elderly people. Parents need to start paying more attention to the way the child is being touched.

My childhood was ruined by monster. Don’t let your child’s childhood ruined by another monster.

And it also made me realize that unless we dont stand up for ourselves, everyone will just stamp all over us, treating us like doormat and worse. And it is high time that we put an end to such an affairs at any age, at any place whether it is your own home, train, bus, mall or your husband’s boss.

Don’t let Monster touch your soul.

naarisakhi
December 19th, 2008, 11:00 PM
Ketaki
Your story is touchiing and eye opener to all the Sakhis out there. NaariSakhi forum is your home so feel free to express yourself. Suggestions from other sakhis should be taken positively.
Thank you for your post.

malspie
December 20th, 2008, 02:28 AM
Hi Ketaki Sakhi,

Your post should be the platform for many like you who has suffered in the hands of sex maniacs!

Parents who have refused to be friends have brought up kids with bottled emotions who find it difficult all their life to share their grievances!

The pivotal part of their life is between 3 to 18 during each of us learn and keep it as the foundation for our leap in to the mad world.

If any incident touches the gentle heart it sinks instead of floating like a balloon in the air and this sink shuts the heart from enjoying even petty things in life.

I always believe that we can never change the past, but past is also the foundation of our future. From a disastrous mistake we learn to improve and grow, from a major growth in the past, we move to the next rung of the ladder, so past cannot be wiped out from our life. Past is nothing but grooming the present which wil slowly turn in to a past.

Let us not leap in to the present with blindfold rather think act and speak out boldly. We are our defence system and the greatest gift that god has given humans is the gift of the gab and the capacity to think and act.

Let us share, speak and move ahead in life.

I totally understand your trauma, the monster will keep peeping at you from all corners, it can never be wiped out, it can never be shut out, but it can be ignored, given less importance!

Thanks for sharing it with us here.

aparnash12
December 20th, 2008, 07:16 AM
Ketaki your story is an eye opener to many parents. Even school should provide this type of education to childrens. There should awarness in towns and villages also

sunidi12
December 20th, 2008, 10:57 AM
My heart goes for you but as Mals said we can ignore and protect ourselves and our generations to come.

jampatil
December 21st, 2008, 11:37 AM
Ketaki Your story is very touching and I am sure there will be many Sakhis out there with similar story. You are brave and I am proud of you for making your story public to save children from the monsters touch.

rajmiarun
December 21st, 2008, 10:18 PM
Here again I would like to tell all the parents the same thing which I have told in Mals thread. Parents please trust your kids and make them your friends. The kids should openly talk anything and everything under the sun with their parents. Be it mother or the father.

Trust have to be mutual. The kids also should trust their parents. They should atleast try once to tell their parents (especially mother), what is happenning to them. At times, mothers might just brush it off, but basic woman instinct and basic motherly instinct will definitely make them listen to their kids atleast once.

The habit of sharing every thing with their parents should be inculcated in the kids at a very early age. Right from their school times. If that is done, then they can be 100% sure that their kids will come running to them whatever happens.

ketaki2097
December 31st, 2008, 12:59 PM
Thanks Naari's for all the feedback and support.

banishapa
January 4th, 2009, 07:43 PM
Ketaki you are brave. I salute you for all the braveness. Parents should always trust their children and be more like friends to them.

Tweety
January 8th, 2009, 11:06 AM
Few monsters enter our life in disguise of angels and leave a permanent scar in our life and heart. All that I can say is chuck the past and move ahead, there is better time and better days ahead always in life.

devika235
February 10th, 2009, 06:00 PM
Ketaki, I salute you for your bravery. You are doing greta job by awarness of this issue.
Rajmi I totally agree with you. Childrens should be able to talk to their parents about anything under the sun.

denise645
February 12th, 2009, 09:56 AM
Ketaki, You are brave. We need to move forward in our life. All parents should be their kids best friends.