My Mother-In-Law

[sulu2000]

My MIL n FIL lives with us. I have one daughter and we are trying for second baby but unfortunately it is taking time because of some medical reason(I dont want to discuss it in this thread)
My MIL wants "Ghar ka diya" a son. She goes on taunting me. Nobody can say anything to her because she will make big drama in the house so everybody including my FIL n my hubby is used to keeping quiet. I tried to tell her couple of times but she is beyond understanding.
I cannot take her taunting anymore and I am tired of all this. I cannot forget her taunts and they remain with me rest of the day. I try to surf the internet,meditate,read books but all the time I am thinking about her taunts and cry.
Please advice me on this.

[suminaik10]

I can understand your situation and It is easy for me to advice you but advices are difficult to follow. It looks like your FIL and hubby cannot open their mouth.
You know it is difficult to shut her mouth so try to spend as much as less time as you can. Communicate very minimum only what is needed. Do not discuss anything with her.Try to do some activites which you enjoy doing. Go out of the house, visit your friends.

[mukti]

Sulu, If you are trying for second baby, it is extremely important that you relax your mind and dont take any stress.
Just ignore your MIL and play deaf ear to her. Your MIL has lived her life so dont allow her to ruin your life. Avoid any arguments with her. As told by Sumi avoid any kind of discussion with her.

[devika235]

Sulu, I can understand your frustration and anger. I am in the same boat but in my boat my SIL is riding with me :)

[ashmita]

Sulu, Concentrate on yourself. Do activites which you like. Entertain yourself. and practice yoga and meditation.

[sulu2000]

Sakhis , Thanks for all the advice. I am trying your tips although it is difficult I am getting there.

[easycrafts]

Sulu..this kind of madness considering boy as the heir to the family continues to be prevalent in several families..although the younger generation considers boys and girls equal, the older generation has still not accepted this except very few of them..Only solution like others said is to ignore such talk as there is no point in trying to explain to them what they will never try to understand

[sulu2000]

Thanks EC. Ignoring is the best solution. I am trying to ignore by keeping myself busy and reading forums on naarisakhi. Keeps me entertained.

[dr.jyoti gupta]

dear sulu,you have to be bold enough if your hubby and FIL are not opening their mouth.standing firmly in protest with dignity is the best solution in this situation.why cant she understand you have a sweet daughter?at least you have a baby,i had nothing but after years of tortourous behaviour,i started reacting with confidence.i know how difficult it is to ignore such remarks.i couldnt take anymore of it and i told her"if i loose my limits,your image will shatter.so better let me live with peace".if you once say these few lines,she will keep her mouth shut.tumhe tabhi tak koi dabbaa sakta hai jab tak tum sunogi.

[arti.anurag]

I think jyoti is right

[sulu2000]

Jyoti, I agree with you. Once you bow, people will always make you bow. I dont like to argue and fight so I am having patience. I will start argument but then start crying when other person starts arguing.

[dr.jyoti gupta]

sulu,you are blessed with a sweet daughter.i think this is the most valuable asset a lady can have in her life.its ok if one has a son also,but ask them who crave for a daughter.those who dont have,repent after some time.and,what will you do if the second foetus is again a girl child?will you be able to abort it?this would be a cruel crime on your part because then,your MIL will force you to do so.then?if your daughter shines as a star one day,you will feel all your efforts were fruitfull.
crying is no solution dear.i can understand,when one cannot argue much and feels helpless,tears come down rolling.but,you have to be strong enough to fight for your better future.

[Be positve]

Hey Sulu, don't worry be happy.

Its always easier said than done. Only you will be able to feel the intensity of the situation and you are the best judge of your behaviour.

As Jyoti said, if the nagging/taunts go beyond your patience then its better to speak up for yourself if others don't support you.

As you mentioned that you start crying...thats a definite no no. You have to strengthen yourself.

Have to go...will write later.

Take care.

[sulu2000]

Thanks Jyoti for kidn words. Frankly speaking I love girl child more than a boy.
be positive, Thansk for your kind words which gave me strength.

[dr.jyoti gupta]

sulu,i have seen daughters wiping their mother's tears.they feel it when we are in tension,they show their affection by their little gestures.their little hands touch your cheek and if they know how to speak,they can console in their toddler language.when we are at some arguement,my daughter comes running to me,she touches my face if there is any wetness,and then she tries to tell me,please dont cry mumma.these moments are so touching,i dont think most of the boys feel so intensity.only a girl can show this love for her mother.

[sulu2000]

Jyoti, I agree with you. Girls are more close to their parents than boys.
Frankly speaking boys or girls does not matter, as far as they are healthy, wealthy, and happy.

[pranati]

Hi Sulu,
First of all I would like to tell you one thing. Be cool. I know its
difficult but it is not impossible. Ignore her to the core. I have seen
many horrible MILs. Though my mother is the best MIL I have ever seen.
She is so close to all my SILs even my sister's MIL I find her so nice.
You know my sisters MIL and me we act like friends dicuss everything and
she is married since 12 years and till date she has never said anything
about her. So differs from person to person. And your hubby and FIL are quit because
they know her and its of no use talking to her. Keep yourself occupied with lot of activities
and let her do what ever she wants ignore her she will learn in due course of time.

[sulu2000]

pranati, thanks for steeping in. In fact today there was some episode and I am disturbed by that.
After readiing your post, I feel relaxed. I will surf NS for some time and forget my MIL.