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rekhagadge

Children do not take care of elderly parents?

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Children do not take care of elderly parents?
My neighbors, children do not take care of their elderly parents?
Stop before reading ahead and note down first thing that comes to your mind?
Most of us will think, Son and DIL are not taking care of elderly parents.
When married girl cannot take care of her parents, why nobody points finger at the Son-In-Law.
I have hardly seen anybody talking about it or looked down upon.
If any girl helps her parents financially out of her own salary, Son-In-law is appreciated.
“They have very nice Son-In-law who allows his wife to help her parents. “
I know there are some customs in south part of India where parents come to live with their daughter. If you exclude that and few other cases, Why Son-In-Law is also responsible for taking care of girls parents.
Sakhis, What you think, when a girl cannot take care of her parents because of her hubbys family pressure, why it is not looked down upon?
Please write your opinion and experiences.

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Updated July 23rd, 2009 at 09:31 PM by rekhagadge

Categories
Social Norms

Comments

  1. easycrafts's Avatar
    Definetely a girl and her husband is also responsible for taking care of elderly parents..If parents have only girls and no boys then who will have the responsibility to take care during their old age ...I know some ladies who have dumped their in-laws just to take care of their parents since they are the only child or maybe just girls in the family. That is not fair either..Even some girls dump their parents once they are well-settled...Is this the reward for parents who bring up kids spending more than 50% of their life..In this century when girls and boys are treated as equal, there continues to remain bias when it comes to several social issues...Each kid and their spouse must be equally responsible to ensure a memorable old age for their parents just the way parents ensure a memorable childhood for their kids
  2. dr.jyoti gupta's Avatar
    a trend being followed from decades!daughter is so called PARRAAYA DHANN!so,at marraige,it is tradition to give dowry instead of dividing ancesteral propoerty with her.when the girls are bought up with such mentality,they develop this attitude.they are taught that they di\ont have to peep in parents home.come as visitor,stay and go back to your home.if a girl tries to look after her parents,she is told that she is interfereing.if she is the only daughter,the relatives keep a pressure on her parents not to take her help.and,today still,very few become ghar jawai.if they do so,they are embrassed by family and friends.
    which way to go?????
  3. rekhagadge's Avatar
    Easycrafts, thanks for stepping in. I dont agree to dumping inalws to take care of parents. Whether it is girl or a boy they have equal responsibility towards each others parents. there are exceptions but general trend in our society is boys parents are given more importance.
  4. rekhagadge's Avatar
    Jyoti, one of the reason of giving dowry is sharing part of the property. They did not wanted to share the house so some value of ancestral property was given in the form of dowry.
    Jyoti, you have hit the point right "relatives keep a pressure on her parents not to take her help."
    It is social norm.
  5. sulu2000's Avatar
    rekhagadge, You have a point but there are exception
    It is common norm where if girls do not take care of their parents, it is not looked down where as if as a DIL she does not take care of inlaws, it is looked down upon.
  6. tulsi34's Avatar
    Rekha, I agree with you. It is a big deal if daughter is taking care of parents. Taking care of sons parenst is birth right. There are exceptions but not many.