Page 1 of 6 123456 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 58
  1. #1
    Sakhi malspie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Maharashtra
    Posts
    17,850
    Blog Entries
    239

    Question The Dark Night and its tale - Fiction

    Hey Gals,

    I love to write stories which can be a portrait of real life, stories that will make you sit up and think, stories that can make you laugh and stories that can bring tears in your eyes!

    Now, if you like this story, do write back to me, I will come with more!

    Your response is my motivation to give you the best CHAI TIME!

    Friends, do drop in!

    IF THIS POST REACHES ATLEAST 350 VIEWERS, YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN IN THE STORY FORUM! SO GET GOING AND DO POST YOUR FEEDBACKS. Hey Gals, it has just reached 313 views - not bad, I am ready with the next story, waiting for this post to hit 350 views!


    The Dark Night and its tale

    I was engrossed reading the book; the clock had ticked way past midnight. I threw my eyes around the room and suddenly something twitched my thoughts. The chairs were not empty, the room was full of people walking around, I could hear few vessels being arranged in the Kitchen. I was glued to my chair, with my eye balls piercing on every object. The street light which would illuminate my balcony was fused on that night. I searched for someone in my balcony. My search ended when I saw a tall figure leaning outside from my balcony. When my gaze fixed on the figure it turned and smiled at me, it was not warm. My lips had dried and my tongue was a bit thick looking for saliva. I decided to concentrate on the book. The leaves of the book had turned and I lost my chapter. Slowly, I pulled myself out of the chair and treaded towards the kitchen. The passage from the hall to the kitchen was dark. As my footsteps approached the kitchen, I could see some shadows rushing out and running towards my bedroom. What are these shadows doing in my home? All that I could say was, “Jai Hanuman”. I slowly reached the kitchen. My legs were shivering for some unknown reasons and my heart was pounding. I raised my weak hands towards the switch. The light was enough to drive away the shadows. They were not to be seen anymore. I stood at the door of the kitchen and peeped in to the passage once again, I could not see them anymore. I quickly ran the glass of water down my parched throat. I was sweating profusely. I missed the street light very much as it always illuminates my room. I had to put my body to rest. What are the shadows doing in my bedroom? I walked towards my bedroom and the chanting “Jai Hanuman” continued. There’s a chair in the bedroom and I could see a pale figure reading a news paper. How could it read in the eerie of darkness? It had comfortably perched itself on the chair. I threw my glance on the bed, thank god it was empty. The other shadows were standing near the window. They were all tall wearing long robes. They had thin hands and big heads. I could hear them chatting among themselves. How happy they seem to be, I wondered? Do they live with me in this house? Where do they go in the day time? Do they also work like me? I kept pondering. The figure in the chair was not perturbed with any noise or chats. It continued browsing the newspaper. I did not enter the bedroom, something stopped me. Instead, I walked back to the hall and suddenly found it empty. The book which I was reading had shut off with the breeze. I picked it up and placed it back in the shelf. I again looked in the balcony, the shadow had turned towards me and it appeared it was watching me. I felt a little awkward. The smile continued on its face. I did not want to show, that I am pondering on the issue. So I hit on the T.V. and tuned to the news channel. The shadow moved its position and angled in such a way that it can watch too. I was not comfortable with the shadow. From which world have these shadows come? Who has sent them? My appeal was to my parents who are stars on the sky, please drive them away. I do not need their company. “Jai Hanuman” was secretly chanted by me and it continued for some reasons. I quickly went for a leak. I had to go to the passage and then the cloak room. I was sure the shadows are busy in my bedroom. After the leak, I reentered the hall, and switched off my T.V. I chanted “Jai Hanuman” loudly and raised towards the balcony, it was jittery, but I had to do it. The shadows suddenly flew out of the balcony. That got me glued to the floor. Who was it? I pulled the shutters of the window and rushed towards the kitchen to put off the lights. The shadow on the chair spoke to me, Common Mals, how long are you going to hang out there? Just retire, you need rest. The voice seemed to be familiar and the appearance too, but all was hazy. I carried a bottle of water to my bedroom and jumped on the bed. Suddenly I found my room bright and clear. The street light was back in action. I peeped near the window and saw the shadows passing out. I looked at the chair it was empty. I again went to the balcony of my hall to see what’s happening. The shadow did not reappear. I opened the shutters and marched towards the bedroom. The things were clear, the rooms and the passage was brighter. I was so used to the street light, that darkness was a far cry to me. Were all the images the perception of my sensory nerves? I am still wondering.
    Last edited by malspie; February 7th, 2009 at 03:22 AM.

  2. #2
    Member rajmiarun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Chennai
    Posts
    203
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default

    Mals,
    You gave me a creep. Will I be able to sleep alone in night in my home. But you made a point there. Take complete rest for a few days. Give a rest for all your work and shut yourself out of the world for a day or two and rejenuvate yourself.
    No God No Peace; Know God Know Peace.

    RajmiArun

  3. #3
    Sakhi malspie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Maharashtra
    Posts
    17,850
    Blog Entries
    239

    Default First Suspense Story

    Hi Raj,

    This was my first suspense story ever written and it has been appreciated by everyone who reads it.

    It was creepy isnt it!

    Take my name and go to sleep!!

  4. #4
    Sakhi
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    India
    Posts
    878
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Mals
    You are amazing story writer. All the scenes rolled before my eyes as I was reading it. They are also deep into my mind and will haunt me.
    Lesson learned to take some rest and keep aside all my work.
    Keep up the good work.

  5. #5

    Default

    Mals you rock
    You have very good writing skills. I dont remember reading any suspense story with lesson to learn. That is really nice to read a suspense story with lesson to learnt.

  6. #6
    Sakhi malspie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Maharashtra
    Posts
    17,850
    Blog Entries
    239

    Default

    Hi Ketaki,

    You have brought a smile on my lips, a story has to get in to the thoughts of the reader, she should become part of the story only then she will be able to relate to it. In this case, I have roped in a little fear in your system, Sorry babes, but this story was a fiction and it was meant to get that creepy feel.

    Thanks for being here and encouraging me.

  7. #7
    Sakhi malspie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Maharashtra
    Posts
    17,850
    Blog Entries
    239

    Default

    Hi Sunetra,

    A lovely feedback filled with words to pep me up to write another story.

    Thanks buddy

  8. #8

    Thumbs up

    Hi Mals
    To write a story so pictorial (I am not sure if I am using the correct word, I mean to say words describing detail scenes),changes persons feeling, haunts us(because we absorb it in our minds) and at the same time passing the message is a real talent. I dont have words to describe you because I am not good writer like you.
    Keep up the good work.

  9. #9
    Sakhi malspie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Maharashtra
    Posts
    17,850
    Blog Entries
    239

    Default Pounding Heart!

    Quote Originally Posted by ritanaik729 View Post
    Hi Mals
    To write a story so pictorial (I am not sure if I am using the correct word, I mean to say words describing detail scenes),changes persons feeling, haunts us(because we absorb it in our minds) and at the same time passing the message is a real talent. I dont have words to describe you because I am not good writer like you.
    Keep up the good work.
    Hi Rita,

    When I read the first line of your reply, I was wondering what are you going to say, bad, worse, stop posting kind of .....

    Then the 4th line gave me the much required "Raahat". More than my story, your reply gave the DHAK DHAK feeling.

    Hats off to you too!

  10. #10

    Default

    Hi Mals
    I did not mean to give you dhak dhak. I appreciate the way your write. When scenes roll infront of your eyes while reading that is talented writing.
    in BTW I gave you dhak dhak while reading my post that means I was trying to write suspense

Page 1 of 6 123456 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •